Unlike my dog, I'm not a bitch. (Lindsay)

We had a number of goals when we created this road trip.  The obvious ones were to see new places, spend quality time together (preferably without murdering each other) and to give ourselves the space and freedom to create a new lifestyle.  But deep down, what we really wanted was solitude.  Hours, days, even weeks of peace and quiet.  But why is so much down time so important to us? 

One word: Introvert.

Introverts get a bad rap.  We are considered stuck up, shy, antisocial and almost never pick up the phone.  Well, as a medically diagnosed introvert (because I took a survey this one time), I'm here to tell you a bit more about how introverts really function so you extroverts out there can better embrace those who probably drive you crazy.

Here are some alternative definitions to ponder:

• Extroverts seek "breadth" of knowledge and influence, while introverts seek "depth" of knowledge and influence.
• Extroverts often prefer more "frequent" interaction, while introverts prefer more "substantial" interaction.
• Extroverts recharge and get their energy from spending time with people, while introverts recharge and get their energy from spending time alone.

As a proud introvert, I agree with all of these definitions.  Going to the mall is my version of hell - fluorescent lighting, random people, crowds - I need a nap just looking at the outside of one.  (an unintended positive consequence of this attitude is I rarely shop and therefore, can afford this road trip :).  I yawn in bars and in meetings and contrary to the fact that I can easily sleep 12 hours a night, it's not because I'm tired.  It's because I'm losing my ability to function.  Sitting alone on my porch with a book and animals who don't speak = bliss.  And when I finally cultivate that moment and my phone unexpectedly rings, I fill with rage even if it's a call from someone I love. 

A friend of mine once complained that I never picked up the phone when she called. I finally told her it wasn't personal - she just always called when I had gotten home from work and that was my time to "sit and stare".    I even quit my role as a volunteer for a domestic violence hot line not because I didn't care fully for the cause but because I would get angry when the phone rang - a reaction you probably shouldn't have when helping others in a crisis.  Instead, I took on another role at the organization where I could give of myself when I was prepared to instead of randomly in the middle of the night.

The biggest misconception is that introverts are socially awkward and shy.  As my friends can attest to and as shown by multiple pictures on my FB page, this doesn't appear to always be the case.  In fact, I wouldn't be successful in my field if this were true.  But let me tell you, it can be draining to develop those skills - to force yourself into conversations with random people for a cause.   The difference between extroverts and introverts is usually quality over quantity.  I don't want or need many friends - what I want are quality relationships where the focus is no longer on small talk.  Don't get me wrong.  I appreciate meeting new people and seeing what they have to offer but I invest in the awkward "dating" phase only in the hopes that the relationship will move to the next level.  (aka hours of discussion around human overpopulation and prisoner recidivism)

I had found that after seven years in the animal welfare field, I had "burned out".  What a cliche.  Except in my case, I wasn't bitter about euthanasia and didn't feel hatred toward pet owners (in fact, I continue to advocate for pet owners who must turn to shelters).  I simply fizzled out after talking to so many people day in and day out and two week vacations were no longer enough to let me recover from my very extroverted job.  I still wasn't returning to work feeling "normal" and energized.  So we built a trip to help us reset.  I picked another equally introverted partner and our introverted dog and we spend most of our hours in silence (with the occasional heated debate around the use of medications for acute pain).

And speaking of my beloved Keira, I have a theory that shelters would create better matches with to-be-pet-parents if we took the introversion/extroversion scale more seriously for both our shelter animals and the humans.  I lost count of the number of times I heard from an extrovert, "he's just not affectionate enough for me" or from an introvert, "he follows me around constantly and it's driving me crazy".  I might even go out on a limb and make an assumption that introverted owners likely prefer aloof and independent pets and extroverted owners prefer needier and affectionate animals.  And I'd even go a step farther and say that extroverted owners are more sensitive to a pet who doesn't seem to "like them".  Oh, the number of times I tried to convince an extroverted owner that the cat was just taking a nap and would warm up in a home or the aloof dog would be an excellent pet for their kids but in the end, I was just projecting my introverted preferences onto them and I would have saved us all a bit of time if I had just put them in the room with the needy Bassett Hound.

Keira never got the memo that Golden Retrievers are expected to be the extroverted breed and she tends to stare off into space whenever someone asks to pet her.  Just the other day a nice man asked if he could pet her and I agreed.  She was fairly disinterested so he took her head in his hands and forced eye contact.  I should have known the overly extroverted man wouldn't get enough from her simple cues of affection - lucky for him she's quite social and chose not to correct him for his completely rude gesture but I told everyone else on that walk that she was tired when they asked to pet her.

Keira after a blissfully introverted afternoon.

So why is this such an important issue for me?  Because society finds introverts odd and sometimes hard to be around and I'm here to tell the extroverts that we're a damn good time, especially after many days of trail running and reading (and a few glasses of wine).  And to tell the introverts to create some boundaries, unapologetically shut off your phone for three days and bask in the contentedness that surrounds you.

(This blog has been written from a secure location in Maine and will remain so until we are well on our way to another secure location in Canada.)

"They do not consider that the wood-path and the boat are my studio, where I

maintain a sacred solitude and cannot admit promiscuous company -

Ask me for a certain number of dollars if you will, but do not ask me for my afternoons"

Thoreau